TM's Journal http://tmsjournal.blog.com Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:21:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 en hourly 1 I’m back!!!!!!!!!! http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2009/03/25/im-back/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2009/03/25/im-back/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:21:23 +0000 TM's Journal So, I finally remembered that I have a blog. It's been almost a year since I've written. I think of it now because I'm stressed and need to vent. What has happened in that year? Well, Im glad you asked. Okay, you didn't but humor me!

I was rereading all the blogs I had done. I guess I could start by updating those. So, I did go to Minneapolis with my sister and the girls. We had a blast. went to Mall of America, saw the giant cherry, went to the Hard Rock Cafe for supper, and did some shopping. I truly enjoyed myself. Even if I did get a $267.00 speeding ticket on the way there. It was fun, worth every dime.
 
JD and I went camping a couple times this summer. Once at St Ambroise, once at The Narrows, and then with Charmaine and her family out at Tulibee Falls in Nopoming Park.  I really love camping. As usual, we had a great time with them. Charmaine has a metal detecter, so we dug up the entire beach one day. What a blast! We found tin foil, a nail, pieces of wire, a piece of chain, and a Loonie. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

Come September, I was rooked into signing up as a "helper" for the Cubs. Bing bang boom, and I'm a uniformed, highly trained leader 2 weeks later. I have about 15 kids in my unit, 1 girl, 12 boys and 2 demon spawn. Those 2 make the evening complete hell. Thye get rowdy, and this sets off all the other boys. It's not fun. I don't know how other leaders can handle it, all I can do is plot how to kill them and dispose of the bodies!  I tried being nice, they ignore me. I tried being slightly tougher, they ignore me. I work really hard to find and create a craft that they can do....they throw it in the garbage can in front of me. I've just about given up on them. I don't know what I've signed up for, but I agreed to "swim up" with JD next year to the Scouts. my brother is a Scout leader, so it would be the 2 of us working together. Now, I find out that he and his wife are expecting again, so he'll never be available to help, and I think I'll get stuck doing everything myself. I'm rethinking that decision.

JD is in the Navy Cadets. I loved Cadets when I was in it many many years ago. the C.O. is Val T., the mother of a girl JD has been going to school with all thru elementary. Val was a cadet too, but a different corps than mine. So, Val tells me that they need parents to help out. That I could also earn stripes and be an officer. So, I thought about it for awhile, and I figured why not. So, I filled out a mountain of papers in November, and the said it would be about 6 weeks. It's now March, and I still haven't heard anything. Then we met Val for breakfast one day, and she says that she doesn't need any more officers, that she has too many already for the amount of kids they have. THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO FILL OUT ALL THE *&^%^*^%$*%$ PAPERWORK TO BECOME AN OFFICER?????????????  Geeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzz. I just don't get it.

Work. Okay, thats another story. Trudy, my coworker got sick with shingles last October. She was away from Oct 9 until Dec 2nd. It was a tough time for me. I was pretty busy trying to keep up with all the day to day stuff, as well as my own things that I have to do. She's back now, but is still suffering with shingles outbreaks on her arms and back. Now, to top it all off, she just found out the other day that she also has MS. That's a kicker!  I don't know much about MS, but I do know that Trudy's life will definetely change over the next few years. How that will affect work is another question.

Jaxx. She hasn't changed much. she's highly stressed. Her own words uttered this morning were "I hate my life. I hate going to work, and I hate coming home."  I think that about sums it up. What can I say to that? Since I'm a part of her life, I guess I fall in that catagory too. The funny thing is, I hate my life too. I think, if you read this blog, I've stated several times that I want something more out of life. I've been saying that for years.  Is it normal? You get to your early to mid forties and you start having a mid life crisis? They say men do it. So, should I go out and buy a Corvette? or have an affair with my secretary? well, I can't afford a Corvette, and I don't have a secretary, so what do I do? How does one deal with the mid life blues?  How does one (me) deal with someone else's mid life blues (Jaxx)??  

I suggested to Jaxx that she go talk to a counsellor or someone, just someone to vent to. She used to go see this woman named Val, and she always said she felt better after speaking to her. Now, I bring it up, and she has several reasons why she can't. I'm pissed! The one thing that she could do to help herself through this tough time, and she refuses. This leaves me & JD & her mom to live with her like that. I don't think I can go on like this for much longer. I have my own issues to deal with, I can't take her mood swings too. Poor JD, he's got 2 fucked up parents. What hope is there for him?

Speaking of JD, we've been going thru a bunch of stuff to try to get him into the appropriate middle school. The one that he would naturally dump into is not one that we feel would be good for him. It's tough, and he is a sensitive kid. Besides, all the bullies who've made his life miserable for the past 5 years, are going there. We'd like to give him a fresh start. So, since October last year, we've been jumping thru hoops, filling out papers, having JD assessed by the TS clinic, and thru the school board. More papers, more meetings, more assessments. It's finally all coming to a head. We've unofficially heard that he was accepted into the school of our choice, and that they're just finalizing the bus routes. But, as I said, that's all unofficial, told to us by a resource teacher.

Now comes the issue of moving. All year, we've been saying that our plan was to look into moving this summer, closer to the school for JD. Now, Jaxx is wavering on that. Since most financial issues intimidate me, I've always left the major financial decisions to Jaxx. She has a little background in accounting, so she understands things a bit better than I do. So, our plan was to watch the market and see what we might be able to do come spring about moving. She seemed pretty confident that we could pull it off. Now, she seems unsure. Her doubt makes me nervous. Now I don't know if we should be thinking about moving or not. What if she has a stress breakdown and loses her job? What if she has a stroke or heart attack? I know it's a weird worry, but the way she's going, I could see either happenning. She is so tightly wound, it wouldn't take much to make her snap. She is wound tightly, and has no way to release any tension. She has no hobbies, or friends to cry on their shoulder. She won't see a counsellor, and I'm of no use to her either. What happens when someone is wound so tight, and the stresses keep piling up and there is no release? You snap! And I'm pretty sure that's whats going to happen. Sooner or later, she's going to lose it. It may be when Beau dies. It may be if something should happen to her Mom's health. It could be her own health that triggers it.  I don't know, but I'm nervous about it. The last thing we need is to take a new house with a bigger mortgage, and she cracks up and has to stop working. That would really suck. Maybe it's best to stay here another year. I don't know. I don't know about a lot of things........the thing is, how do I find out the answers to the things I don't know about? Maybe I need to see someone. Maybe I need the fresh start. Maybe I'm the one who is going to have a breakdown. Maybe, maybe, maybe............................


 ]]> So, I finally remembered that I have a blog. It’s been almost a year since I’ve written. I think of it now because I’m stressed and need to vent. What has happened in that year? Well, Im glad you asked. Okay, you didn’t but humor me!

I was rereading all the blogs I had done. I guess I could start by updating those. So, I did go to Minneapolis with my sister and the girls. We had a blast. went to Mall of America, saw the giant cherry, went to the Hard Rock Cafe for supper, and did some shopping. I truly enjoyed myself. Even if I did get a $267.00 speeding ticket on the way there. It was fun, worth every dime.
 
JD and I went camping a couple times this summer. Once at St Ambroise, once at The Narrows, and then with Charmaine and her family out at Tulibee Falls in Nopoming Park.  I really love camping. As usual, we had a great time with them. Charmaine has a metal detecter, so we dug up the entire beach one day. What a blast! We found tin foil, a nail, pieces of wire, a piece of chain, and a Loonie. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

Come September, I was rooked into signing up as a “helper” for the Cubs. Bing bang boom, and I’m a uniformed, highly trained leader 2 weeks later. I have about 15 kids in my unit, 1 girl, 12 boys and 2 demon spawn. Those 2 make the evening complete hell. Thye get rowdy, and this sets off all the other boys. It’s not fun. I don’t know how other leaders can handle it, all I can do is plot how to kill them and dispose of the bodies!  I tried being nice, they ignore me. I tried being slightly tougher, they ignore me. I work really hard to find and create a craft that they can do….they throw it in the garbage can in front of me. I’ve just about given up on them. I don’t know what I’ve signed up for, but I agreed to “swim up” with JD next year to the Scouts. my brother is a Scout leader, so it would be the 2 of us working together. Now, I find out that he and his wife are expecting again, so he’ll never be available to help, and I think I’ll get stuck doing everything myself. I’m rethinking that decision.

JD is in the Navy Cadets. I loved Cadets when I was in it many many years ago. the C.O. is Val T., the mother of a girl JD has been going to school with all thru elementary. Val was a cadet too, but a different corps than mine. So, Val tells me that they need parents to help out. That I could also earn stripes and be an officer. So, I thought about it for awhile, and I figured why not. So, I filled out a mountain of papers in November, and the said it would be about 6 weeks. It’s now March, and I still haven’t heard anything. Then we met Val for breakfast one day, and she says that she doesn’t need any more officers, that she has too many already for the amount of kids they have. THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO FILL OUT ALL THE *&^%^*^%$*%$ PAPERWORK TO BECOME AN OFFICER?????????????  Geeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzz. I just don’t get it.

Work. Okay, thats another story. Trudy, my coworker got sick with shingles last October. She was away from Oct 9 until Dec 2nd. It was a tough time for me. I was pretty busy trying to keep up with all the day to day stuff, as well as my own things that I have to do. She’s back now, but is still suffering with shingles outbreaks on her arms and back. Now, to top it all off, she just found out the other day that she also has MS. That’s a kicker!  I don’t know much about MS, but I do know that Trudy’s life will definetely change over the next few years. How that will affect work is another question.

Jaxx. She hasn’t changed much. she’s highly stressed. Her own words uttered this morning were “I hate my life. I hate going to work, and I hate coming home.”  I think that about sums it up. What can I say to that? Since I’m a part of her life, I guess I fall in that catagory too. The funny thing is, I hate my life too. I think, if you read this blog, I’ve stated several times that I want something more out of life. I’ve been saying that for years.  Is it normal? You get to your early to mid forties and you start having a mid life crisis? They say men do it. So, should I go out and buy a Corvette? or have an affair with my secretary? well, I can’t afford a Corvette, and I don’t have a secretary, so what do I do? How does one deal with the mid life blues?  How does one (me) deal with someone else’s mid life blues (Jaxx)??  

I suggested to Jaxx that she go talk to a counsellor or someone, just someone to vent to. She used to go see this woman named Val, and she always said she felt better after speaking to her. Now, I bring it up, and she has several reasons why she can’t. I’m pissed! The one thing that she could do to help herself through this tough time, and she refuses. This leaves me & JD & her mom to live with her like that. I don’t think I can go on like this for much longer. I have my own issues to deal with, I can’t take her mood swings too. Poor JD, he’s got 2 fucked up parents. What hope is there for him?

Speaking of JD, we’ve been going thru a bunch of stuff to try to get him into the appropriate middle school. The one that he would naturally dump into is not one that we feel would be good for him. It’s tough, and he is a sensitive kid. Besides, all the bullies who’ve made his life miserable for the past 5 years, are going there. We’d like to give him a fresh start. So, since October last year, we’ve been jumping thru hoops, filling out papers, having JD assessed by the TS clinic, and thru the school board. More papers, more meetings, more assessments. It’s finally all coming to a head. We’ve unofficially heard that he was accepted into the school of our choice, and that they’re just finalizing the bus routes. But, as I said, that’s all unofficial, told to us by a resource teacher.

Now comes the issue of moving. All year, we’ve been saying that our plan was to look into moving this summer, closer to the school for JD. Now, Jaxx is wavering on that. Since most financial issues intimidate me, I’ve always left the major financial decisions to Jaxx. She has a little background in accounting, so she understands things a bit better than I do. So, our plan was to watch the market and see what we might be able to do come spring about moving. She seemed pretty confident that we could pull it off. Now, she seems unsure. Her doubt makes me nervous. Now I don’t know if we should be thinking about moving or not. What if she has a stress breakdown and loses her job? What if she has a stroke or heart attack? I know it’s a weird worry, but the way she’s going, I could see either happenning. She is so tightly wound, it wouldn’t take much to make her snap. She is wound tightly, and has no way to release any tension. She has no hobbies, or friends to cry on their shoulder. She won’t see a counsellor, and I’m of no use to her either. What happens when someone is wound so tight, and the stresses keep piling up and there is no release? You snap! And I’m pretty sure that’s whats going to happen. Sooner or later, she’s going to lose it. It may be when Beau dies. It may be if something should happen to her Mom’s health. It could be her own health that triggers it.  I don’t know, but I’m nervous about it. The last thing we need is to take a new house with a bigger mortgage, and she cracks up and has to stop working. That would really suck. Maybe it’s best to stay here another year. I don’t know. I don’t know about a lot of things……..the thing is, how do I find out the answers to the things I don’t know about? Maybe I need to see someone. Maybe I need the fresh start. Maybe I’m the one who is going to have a breakdown. Maybe, maybe, maybe……………………….

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2009/03/25/im-back/feed/ Spring is in the air http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2008/03/27/spring-is-in-the-air/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2008/03/27/spring-is-in-the-air/#comments Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:28:33 +0000 TM's Journal I can't believe it's been like 3 months since I've written. Time flies when you're in the freakin' heart of winter!! I've thought about it quite a few times, but either I was busy with something else, or I was just too tired to do it at that minute in time. hey, I never said I wasn't a procrastinater.

Let's see.....what has happenned since Xmas............. We had New Years! Nothing big, quiet night at home. February was JD's 10th birthday. We bought tickets to the Monster truck Jam, and took him and Nathan (J's cousin's kid) to see it. I have to admit, it was fun....for the first few minutes, then it became repetitious. It was very loud, and the exhaust hurt your throat by the end of the night. The kids loved it though.

March, hmmmm, I guess March hasn't been all that eventful. We had Jaxx's birthday, then her Mom's, my neice, and my brother's was yesterday. Again, nothing out of the ordinary.

I guess the only big thing I'm excited about right now is that I've been researching my Mom's roots. She didn't know anything after her Grandmother, and even what she knew about her Grandmother was sketchy. Through digging, I found extra great Aunts & Uncles she never knew she had. It reads like a soap opera. There is divorce, unexplained name changes, "shady" characters, and even a murder/suicide!  Throw in a prostitution, a politician and some unexplained money, and you've got the plot of a bestseller!

I'm waiting for spring. I want to spend every weekend camping this summer. I don't care if it's not very far, or just for a weekend. I NEED to have some fun, and I love camping. Since Jaxx doesn't like camping, I'm just as happy to take JD and go. So far, he has demonstrated a like for camping, what little he has done of it.

I want to be by water, it peaces me out. I love water. I can sit and look at it, dangle my feet in it, float on it and just feel the stress leave my body. I enjoy the breeze, going for a dip if it's hot, doing some fishing. I know Jaxx doesn't understand that. I truly believe that she doesn't know how to relax. Is it any wonder she feels stressed, by her own admition. Her body never gets a break. She can't even sit still for 2 hours to enjoy a movie. There is always something she has to do, or build, or clean, or fix. She is one of those types who always has to be moving. I'm not. Her Mom is like her, so they get up at the crack of dawn on a saturday to start doing yard work. I'm pretty sure her Mom thinks I'm lazy, but I don't really care. I don't live to please her. My lazy ass keeps a roof over her head, supplies her with smokes when she runs out of money,drives her when she has to go someplace different like a doctor's clinic, so she can think what she likes. I just ignore the stares. Jaxx once told me that when we were thinking of adopting JD, she asked Jaxx if she was sure she really wanted to do it, because she said words to the effect that "You'll have to do everything."

I've never forgotten or forgiven her for that remark. I feel I've been a good parent too. I've learned, and given up just as much as Jaxx has for JD. Maybe more.
I've attended every class, seminar, meeting etc that Jaxx has attended to learn how to be a good parent to a child with needs. I think I'm just as much of a parent as Jaxx is. Jaxx & I are different individuals, and were raised differently. Therefore, we parent differently. I don't think that makes one better than the other. JD has attached to Jaxx as the mom he runs to when he scrapes a knee, or needs a hug. He desperately doesn't want to displease her. When I'm with him, and something good happens, the first thing he says is "Can I phone J-Mom and tell her?" Sure it hurts a little, he has a parent right here who'd like to share the moment with him, but he wants to call the other parent.  I understand his relationship with her. 

I am more laid back, I don't baby him if he gets a boo boo on his knee knee. I tell him to buck up, it's just a scrape. I'm the one who he climbs on and wrestles with,  goes camping with, plays video games with, shoots baskets with, plays street hockey with and goes fishing with. I can also be the disciplinarian when I need to. Two totally different roles, but together I like to believe we give the kid everything he needs. If J's Mom thinks that I'm not towing the line, then fuck her. From what I hear, she wasn't the greatest Mom either, so who is she to criticize me? I'm not going to waste my life worrying about what she thinks.
Life is just too short.

I've started feeling older, and thinking about my future, which means getting older. I'm 45 this summer. I have 20 years (give or take) until retirement. Luckily, my job is not a physical one, so I should be able to do it until I retire. At least that's my hope. I don't want to be 50+ and have to start looking for a new job.But I'm scared of getting old. I want to be a spry, active senior, not one confined to a wheelchair. But, with how my back is, and various other health issues I'm dealing with (diabetes) I'm afraid that I will have no choice but to lead a sedentary seniorhood. So, I figure I've got a few good years left, I want to enjoy them. Again, I'm limited fianancially as to what I'm able to do. I want to do some traveling(I'd still like to meet Niki in England some day)  I want to go river rapid water rafting, I want to do alot more fishing.  I'm seriously thinking of becoming involved with the scouts because then I could go on their trips and have some fun with them. 

Either way, I want to make myself do some fun things this summer. I have such high hopes. I have a tentative trip to Minneapolis planned with my sister for April. We also have a plan to go camping agian together this summer. And on the weekends when I can, I want to go camping. I want to try some of the Whiteshell area campsites. I've heard some of them are really beautiful. And the fishing is usually pretty good in the whiteshell. I know that Jaxx's first arguement will be "what about the bears?!?" I figure millions of people camp every year in the Whiteshell area. Yes, there are reports of some incidents, but as long as you're a smart camper and obey the rules the game wardens tell you,  lesses your chances at something bad happenning. I'm not going to live my life saying "I never did something because what if...." She can stay at home. I'll take my chances.

I need more in my life that working all week, running JD to every activity that he or Jaxx feels he should be involved in,then working at home on "projects" every weekend. (See earlier blogs to read about projects) Jaxx always says to me, "Take a course, look at the leisure guide." When would I have a chance to take a course?  Between Swimming (Tuesdays), Scouts (Weds), soon to be Sea Cadets(Fridays), baseball (either Mon & Weds or Tues & Thurs)  which I didn't want him to play this year, but J did, (so you see who wins the arguements in our house)  soon to be a chess club(Saturday afternoons), Ukrainian dancing (Saturday mornings), and Lord knows what else he'll decide he wants to do, I can't sign up for a course. What night will I be free?? Sunday is about the only day! And I don't think too many courses are being offered for Sundays. But this is the way she is able to deflect it back at me. It's all my fault I'm unhappy. I could change it myself if I took a course. Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm starting to depress myself. It's kind of a good thing that nobody reads these blogs anyway. They're depressing. I just bitch and rant. But somehow, it makes me feel better. Maybe I should take up jounalling??? Duh, that's what blogging is!!!

Till next time.














  ]]> I can’t believe it’s been like 3 months since I’ve written. Time flies when you’re in the freakin’ heart of winter!! I’ve thought about it quite a few times, but either I was busy with something else, or I was just too tired to do it at that minute in time. hey, I never said I wasn’t a procrastinater.

Let’s see…..what has happenned since Xmas…………. We had New Years! Nothing big, quiet night at home. February was JD’s 10th birthday. We bought tickets to the Monster truck Jam, and took him and Nathan (J’s cousin’s kid) to see it. I have to admit, it was fun….for the first few minutes, then it became repetitious. It was very loud, and the exhaust hurt your throat by the end of the night. The kids loved it though.

March, hmmmm, I guess March hasn’t been all that eventful. We had Jaxx’s birthday, then her Mom’s, my neice, and my brother’s was yesterday. Again, nothing out of the ordinary.

I guess the only big thing I’m excited about right now is that I’ve been researching my Mom’s roots. She didn’t know anything after her Grandmother, and even what she knew about her Grandmother was sketchy. Through digging, I found extra great Aunts & Uncles she never knew she had. It reads like a soap opera. There is divorce, unexplained name changes, “shady” characters, and even a murder/suicide!  Throw in a prostitution, a politician and some unexplained money, and you’ve got the plot of a bestseller!

I’m waiting for spring. I want to spend every weekend camping this summer. I don’t care if it’s not very far, or just for a weekend. I NEED to have some fun, and I love camping. Since Jaxx doesn’t like camping, I’m just as happy to take JD and go. So far, he has demonstrated a like for camping, what little he has done of it.

I want to be by water, it peaces me out. I love water. I can sit and look at it, dangle my feet in it, float on it and just feel the stress leave my body. I enjoy the breeze, going for a dip if it’s hot, doing some fishing. I know Jaxx doesn’t understand that. I truly believe that she doesn’t know how to relax. Is it any wonder she feels stressed, by her own admition. Her body never gets a break. She can’t even sit still for 2 hours to enjoy a movie. There is always something she has to do, or build, or clean, or fix. She is one of those types who always has to be moving. I’m not. Her Mom is like her, so they get up at the crack of dawn on a saturday to start doing yard work. I’m pretty sure her Mom thinks I’m lazy, but I don’t really care. I don’t live to please her. My lazy ass keeps a roof over her head, supplies her with smokes when she runs out of money,drives her when she has to go someplace different like a doctor’s clinic, so she can think what she likes. I just ignore the stares. Jaxx once told me that when we were thinking of adopting JD, she asked Jaxx if she was sure she really wanted to do it, because she said words to the effect that “You’ll have to do everything.”

I’ve never forgotten or forgiven her for that remark. I feel I’ve been a good parent too. I’ve learned, and given up just as much as Jaxx has for JD. Maybe more.
I’ve attended every class, seminar, meeting etc that Jaxx has attended to learn how to be a good parent to a child with needs. I think I’m just as much of a parent as Jaxx is. Jaxx & I are different individuals, and were raised differently. Therefore, we parent differently. I don’t think that makes one better than the other. JD has attached to Jaxx as the mom he runs to when he scrapes a knee, or needs a hug. He desperately doesn’t want to displease her. When I’m with him, and something good happens, the first thing he says is “Can I phone J-Mom and tell her?” Sure it hurts a little, he has a parent right here who’d like to share the moment with him, but he wants to call the other parent.  I understand his relationship with her. 

I am more laid back, I don’t baby him if he gets a boo boo on his knee knee. I tell him to buck up, it’s just a scrape. I’m the one who he climbs on and wrestles with,  goes camping with, plays video games with, shoots baskets with, plays street hockey with and goes fishing with. I can also be the disciplinarian when I need to. Two totally different roles, but together I like to believe we give the kid everything he needs. If J’s Mom thinks that I’m not towing the line, then fuck her. From what I hear, she wasn’t the greatest Mom either, so who is she to criticize me? I’m not going to waste my life worrying about what she thinks.
Life is just too short.

I’ve started feeling older, and thinking about my future, which means getting older. I’m 45 this summer. I have 20 years (give or take) until retirement. Luckily, my job is not a physical one, so I should be able to do it until I retire. At least that’s my hope. I don’t want to be 50+ and have to start looking for a new job.But I’m scared of getting old. I want to be a spry, active senior, not one confined to a wheelchair. But, with how my back is, and various other health issues I’m dealing with (diabetes) I’m afraid that I will have no choice but to lead a sedentary seniorhood. So, I figure I’ve got a few good years left, I want to enjoy them. Again, I’m limited fianancially as to what I’m able to do. I want to do some traveling(I’d still like to meet Niki in England some day)  I want to go river rapid water rafting, I want to do alot more fishing.  I’m seriously thinking of becoming involved with the scouts because then I could go on their trips and have some fun with them. 

Either way, I want to make myself do some fun things this summer. I have such high hopes. I have a tentative trip to Minneapolis planned with my sister for April. We also have a plan to go camping agian together this summer. And on the weekends when I can, I want to go camping. I want to try some of the Whiteshell area campsites. I’ve heard some of them are really beautiful. And the fishing is usually pretty good in the whiteshell. I know that Jaxx’s first arguement will be “what about the bears?!?” I figure millions of people camp every year in the Whiteshell area. Yes, there are reports of some incidents, but as long as you’re a smart camper and obey the rules the game wardens tell you,  lesses your chances at something bad happenning. I’m not going to live my life saying ”I never did something because what if….” She can stay at home. I’ll take my chances.

I need more in my life that working all week, running JD to every activity that he or Jaxx feels he should be involved in,then working at home on “projects” every weekend. (See earlier blogs to read about projects) Jaxx always says to me, “Take a course, look at the leisure guide.” When would I have a chance to take a course?  Between Swimming (Tuesdays), Scouts (Weds), soon to be Sea Cadets(Fridays), baseball (either Mon & Weds or Tues & Thurs)  which I didn’t want him to play this year, but J did, (so you see who wins the arguements in our house)  soon to be a chess club(Saturday afternoons), Ukrainian dancing (Saturday mornings), and Lord knows what else he’ll decide he wants to do, I can’t sign up for a course. What night will I be free?? Sunday is about the only day! And I don’t think too many courses are being offered for Sundays. But this is the way she is able to deflect it back at me. It’s all my fault I’m unhappy. I could change it myself if I took a course. Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Anyway, I’m starting to depress myself. It’s kind of a good thing that nobody reads these blogs anyway. They’re depressing. I just bitch and rant. But somehow, it makes me feel better. Maybe I should take up jounalling??? Duh, that’s what blogging is!!!

Till next time.

 

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2008/03/27/spring-is-in-the-air/feed/ Christmas Blues http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/12/17/christmas-blues/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/12/17/christmas-blues/#comments Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:32:55 +0000 TM's Journal Okay, so, like a week tomorrow is Christmas. How come I don't feel more excited? I have to admit, Christmas doesn't really do it for me anymore. If I were alone, it would be a great day to sleep in, and just relax. But I'm not. When it was just Jaxx & I, we didn't always go all out. We had a tiny table top tree, and we kept decorating pretty much down to a minimum. But once JD joined our family, we've started going the whole 9 yards when it comes to Christmas. (I hate typing Christmas out, so from here on in, it's Xmas - sorry Jaxx!)

Xmas has gained a little of the fun back since having a kid. I love to watch his face as he opens things. He is so easy to please. He loves everything. I guess I'm just tired of the same old same old.

This is our Xmas tradition:  we'll be up early with Jonathan, open our gifts, go downstairs to J's Mom's place, open more gifts, have breakfast, get dressed, go to my parents house and open even MORE gifts. After watching the gifts being openned, we watch my mom slave over the stove to put out an enormous feast, 1/2 of which will not be eaten. Last year, for entertainment, my bratty 10 year old neice decided she didn't like the doll my dad had given her. She wanted the basketball that my son had received. Instead of being gracious about it, she had a royal hissy fit, embarrassing everybody else in the room, and making my dad feel like shit.  He ended up "buying" the doll from her for $20 and giving the doll to J's Mom. So, now I'm ultra paranoid about what the hell to give to this obnoxious brat. I don't want the gift I give her to be the cause of another tantrum.

It's not that I don't like gifts...I love them... when it's something I need or want. It's the I-don't-know-what-to-get-you-so-i'll-buy-you-a-candle/useless ornament- type of gifts I hate. Those are the types of gifts I don't like recieving. My brother tends to buy like that. That is buying and giving for the sake of buying and giving. The way I feel, if you don't know my likes or dislikes or personality to be able to buy me a present I'll enjoy, I'd rather have no present at all. But that's just me.

When I buy a gift, I do honestly try to come up with something that I feel that person would truly enjoy. My coworker for example, LOVES soccer. So I bought her this cool remote control soccer game. The remotes control two runners, and they kick the ball. I think she and her family will have a blast playing with it. I could have got her an ornament that she could set on a shelf, and have to dust. But I don't work like that.

My brother and sister in law have a closet that they fill with things they buy all year long, and come Xmas or birthdays, they just open the door and whatever falls out is your gift. Lots of thought went into that. They can keep those. And I told my brother that a few weeks ago. I suggested we stop exchanging gifts. I'm sick of decorative candles, fountains etc.

I think the other thing that bothers me about Xmas is that it's so bloody expensive. Of course, credit cards come in handy, and run up real fast & easy. But then you spend the rest of the year trying to knock them back down.  It's an endless treadmill. In a typical year, I have to buy for Jaxx, Jonathan, Jaxx's mom, 2 neices, 1 nephew, a coworker, a teacher, and either my parents, or my brother and sister in law depending who's name I drew. Up until a few years ago, I also had my sister, her husband and her 4 kids on that list. Luckily, she has chosen to pursue a religion which doesn't celebrate Xmas. Maybe she has the right idea.

I worry about our financial future. I hate that we are always broke, and survive paycheck to paycheck. I don't like that feeling. If I had my way, we'd have NO credit cards. I hate them. But, these days, they are a neccesary evil. Every gift we buy, I hear the "Cha-Ching" of our debt going higher and higher.  I guess that's why I really don't like Xmas.

Just let me sleep, and wake me when it's all over.

Bah Humbug.




]]> Okay, so, like a week tomorrow is Christmas. How come I don’t feel more excited? I have to admit, Christmas doesn’t really do it for me anymore. If I were alone, it would be a great day to sleep in, and just relax. But I’m not. When it was just Jaxx & I, we didn’t always go all out. We had a tiny table top tree, and we kept decorating pretty much down to a minimum. But once JD joined our family, we’ve started going the whole 9 yards when it comes to Christmas. (I hate typing Christmas out, so from here on in, it’s Xmas - sorry Jaxx!)

Xmas has gained a little of the fun back since having a kid. I love to watch his face as he opens things. He is so easy to please. He loves everything. I guess I’m just tired of the same old same old.

This is our Xmas tradition:  we’ll be up early with Jonathan, open our gifts, go downstairs to J’s Mom’s place, open more gifts, have breakfast, get dressed, go to my parents house and open even MORE gifts. After watching the gifts being openned, we watch my mom slave over the stove to put out an enormous feast, 1/2 of which will not be eaten. Last year, for entertainment, my bratty 10 year old neice decided she didn’t like the doll my dad had given her. She wanted the basketball that my son had received. Instead of being gracious about it, she had a royal hissy fit, embarrassing everybody else in the room, and making my dad feel like shit.  He ended up “buying” the doll from her for $20 and giving the doll to J’s Mom. So, now I’m ultra paranoid about what the hell to give to this obnoxious brat. I don’t want the gift I give her to be the cause of another tantrum.

It’s not that I don’t like gifts…I love them… when it’s something I need or want. It’s the I-don’t-know-what-to-get-you-so-i’ll-buy-you-a-candle/useless ornament- type of gifts I hate. Those are the types of gifts I don’t like recieving. My brother tends to buy like that. That is buying and giving for the sake of buying and giving. The way I feel, if you don’t know my likes or dislikes or personality to be able to buy me a present I’ll enjoy, I’d rather have no present at all. But that’s just me.

When I buy a gift, I do honestly try to come up with something that I feel that person would truly enjoy. My coworker for example, LOVES soccer. So I bought her this cool remote control soccer game. The remotes control two runners, and they kick the ball. I think she and her family will have a blast playing with it. I could have got her an ornament that she could set on a shelf, and have to dust. But I don’t work like that.

My brother and sister in law have a closet that they fill with things they buy all year long, and come Xmas or birthdays, they just open the door and whatever falls out is your gift. Lots of thought went into that. They can keep those. And I told my brother that a few weeks ago. I suggested we stop exchanging gifts. I’m sick of decorative candles, fountains etc.

I think the other thing that bothers me about Xmas is that it’s so bloody expensive. Of course, credit cards come in handy, and run up real fast & easy. But then you spend the rest of the year trying to knock them back down.  It’s an endless treadmill. In a typical year, I have to buy for Jaxx, Jonathan, Jaxx’s mom, 2 neices, 1 nephew, a coworker, a teacher, and either my parents, or my brother and sister in law depending who’s name I drew. Up until a few years ago, I also had my sister, her husband and her 4 kids on that list. Luckily, she has chosen to pursue a religion which doesn’t celebrate Xmas. Maybe she has the right idea.

I worry about our financial future. I hate that we are always broke, and survive paycheck to paycheck. I don’t like that feeling. If I had my way, we’d have NO credit cards. I hate them. But, these days, they are a neccesary evil. Every gift we buy, I hear the “Cha-Ching” of our debt going higher and higher.  I guess that’s why I really don’t like Xmas.

Just let me sleep, and wake me when it’s all over.

Bah Humbug.

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/12/17/christmas-blues/feed/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/11/27/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/11/27/#comments Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:13:30 +0000 TM's Journal
Besides all the work related appointments (meetings, interviews etc) I've had a busy personal life as well. We've had several team handball games (my son's) to watch, and we had a full family dinner at my sister's place one Sunday. We went to see a PTE play one night, and went to the Santa Claus Parade one night. We saw my new little nephew get baptized last Sunday,

I'm meeting up with an old school friend, who I haven't seen in 25 years for coffee tomorrow night, and Jaxx & I  are going to see Walking with the Dinosaurs on Thursday night, and attending parent -teacher conference Friday night. When you mix these in with the regular things like Tae kwon do on Mondays & Thursdays, Swimming on Tuesdays, and Dancing on Saturdays, we've been on the go alot. Oh, and also add my son's 2 dr appointments, and my dentist and dr appointments to the list. Is it any wonder I'm tired?

I'm always tired though. I wake up and I'm still tired. I drag around all day at work, and I'm yawning all day. I try to drink tea for the caffeine. I actually have sat at my desk, rested my head on my hands, and started to nod off. Good thing when my neck jerked, I woke up.  I go home at night, and I could sleep before supper if they'd let me. After supper, if there isn't someplace to run out to, I often fall asleep while watching TV. And when I do crawl into bed, it's only a few mere minutes before I'm fast asleep. No, sleeping is not a problem for me; staying awake is the problem for me!

Sometimes I resent how much there is to do at home too. On any night when there isn't one of the aforementioned functions to go to, we still find something that needs to be done. From running to Walmart to pick up a few things, to building 2 bought pre-fab armoires, to Christmas shopping, to steam cleaning the carpets, to shovelling snow...the list goes on. There are a ton of things that are on our todo list as well: paint the bathroom, put baseboards on the bathroom, paint the hall, paint the kitchen, and paint our bedroom. We'd ultimately like to get new carpets put in.
There's our basement which doubles as Jaxx's Mom's apartment and a storage area. It is so crowded, and Jaxx says we have to do something with all our stuff to make more room for her mom. I don't know what she thinks we're going to do with it? We have run out of space in our house and garage and breezeway. There's also the outside to worry about: paint the stucco on the house, paint the garage, and get the roof of the garage and the house redone.

I know these are necessary things that need to be done, but it just feels like we never have any down time. I know Jaxx has ants in her pants. She can never sit still. She ALWAYS has some project going that in her mind, needs to be done NOW. She doesn't enjoy watching TV or reading, or doing a jigsaw puzzle, or a sodoku puzzle, or any such relaxing things to do. I, on the other hand, love having the time to do all those things.  An enjoyable saturday for me would be sleeping in, catching up on some programs that I've taped over the weekend, read awhile, have a little nap, read the paper, maybe work on a puzzle, enjoy some time on the computer. But a typical saturday is nothing like that.

Some people say "there will be plenty of time to sleep when you're dead". I don't want to die until I'm at least in my 70's or 80's. But, honestly, there are some days I wish that would happen sooner than later. I'm tired.

I'm just venting. That's what these blogs are supposed to be right? A chance to vent, and no one reads it anyways. Except maybe Jaxx. I don't know if she still does, but she was reading my blog for awhile.

I need to go get another cup of tea.
Later
]]> Okay, so here it is. Almost the end of November. It’s been a busy month.

Besides all the work related appointments (meetings, interviews etc) I’ve had a busy personal life as well. We’ve had several team handball games (my son’s) to watch, and we had a full family dinner at my sister’s place one Sunday. We went to see a PTE play one night, and went to the Santa Claus Parade one night. We saw my new little nephew get baptized last Sunday,

I’m meeting up with an old school friend, who I haven’t seen in 25 years for coffee tomorrow night, and Jaxx & I  are going to see Walking with the Dinosaurs on Thursday night, and attending parent -teacher conference Friday night. When you mix these in with the regular things like Tae kwon do on Mondays & Thursdays, Swimming on Tuesdays, and Dancing on Saturdays, we’ve been on the go alot. Oh, and also add my son’s 2 dr appointments, and my dentist and dr appointments to the list. Is it any wonder I’m tired?

I’m always tired though. I wake up and I’m still tired. I drag around all day at work, and I’m yawning all day. I try to drink tea for the caffeine. I actually have sat at my desk, rested my head on my hands, and started to nod off. Good thing when my neck jerked, I woke up.  I go home at night, and I could sleep before supper if they’d let me. After supper, if there isn’t someplace to run out to, I often fall asleep while watching TV. And when I do crawl into bed, it’s only a few mere minutes before I’m fast asleep. No, sleeping is not a problem for me; staying awake is the problem for me!

Sometimes I resent how much there is to do at home too. On any night when there isn’t one of the aforementioned functions to go to, we still find something that needs to be done. From running to Walmart to pick up a few things, to building 2 bought pre-fab armoires, to Christmas shopping, to steam cleaning the carpets, to shovelling snow…the list goes on. There are a ton of things that are on our todo list as well: paint the bathroom, put baseboards on the bathroom, paint the hall, paint the kitchen, and paint our bedroom. We’d ultimately like to get new carpets put in.
There’s our basement which doubles as Jaxx’s Mom’s apartment and a storage area. It is so crowded, and Jaxx says we have to do something with all our stuff to make more room for her mom. I don’t know what she thinks we’re going to do with it? We have run out of space in our house and garage and breezeway. There’s also the outside to worry about: paint the stucco on the house, paint the garage, and get the roof of the garage and the house redone.

I know these are necessary things that need to be done, but it just feels like we never have any down time. I know Jaxx has ants in her pants. She can never sit still. She ALWAYS has some project going that in her mind, needs to be done NOW. She doesn’t enjoy watching TV or reading, or doing a jigsaw puzzle, or a sodoku puzzle, or any such relaxing things to do. I, on the other hand, love having the time to do all those things.  An enjoyable saturday for me would be sleeping in, catching up on some programs that I’ve taped over the weekend, read awhile, have a little nap, read the paper, maybe work on a puzzle, enjoy some time on the computer. But a typical saturday is nothing like that.

Some people say “there will be plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead”. I don’t want to die until I’m at least in my 70’s or 80’s. But, honestly, there are some days I wish that would happen sooner than later. I’m tired.

I’m just venting. That’s what these blogs are supposed to be right? A chance to vent, and no one reads it anyways. Except maybe Jaxx. I don’t know if she still does, but she was reading my blog for awhile.

I need to go get another cup of tea.
Later

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/11/27/feed/ Halloween Update http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/10/31/halloween-update/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/10/31/halloween-update/#comments Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:24:45 +0000 TM's Journal
School has started for JD. So far, he loves it. Grade 4 has openned alot of doors for him. He was chosen to be a patrol, he was chosen to sell milk to the other students at lunch time, he ran on the school's cross country running team (and actually did very well in it!!) he has joined the team handball team, plans on joining the basketball team, and hopes to join the cross country skiing team as well. On top of this, we still have him in Tae Kwon do and swimming, and this fall he chose to start Ukrainian Dancing lessons. He is one busy little guy, but he is keeping up with his schoolwork - one of the stipulations we gave him if he was going to do these activities - and he is thriving!! He loves math & science, and seems to have passed every test so far. We are very happy with him, and he is in a good place right now. 
(Side note: to those who don't know, he came from a horribly abusive background, and we adopted him at the age of 5. With alot of patience, love and therapy, he's become a great little almost 10 year old boy. )He excited about Halloween, this year choosing to dress as a convict, complete with handcuffs and a ball & chain around his ankles.

Our dogs are doing okay. Beau is almost 16 years old. We went thru a scare with him this spring, we thought we were going to lose him. But, he has bounced back during the summer, although he does have some good days and some bad days. Chase is almost 11. We think he has some back issues, but he is still full of P & V, as grumpy as ever. And our baby, Aero just turned 9. She amazes me. The vet told us a few years ago that she had the start of hip dysplazia. Yet, you'd never know it to look at her. She loves running, swimming and playing frisbee. For an aging dog, she's more like a puppy!

We finally finished our garage - or as finished as it is going to get this year. It just has a coat of primer on it, we'll paint it next summer. But it looks great.

Work is still work. We just finished a big gala lunch for our volunteers. What a nightmare. I was so stressed out the past couple of weeks. It went off without a hitch yesterday. We had several compliments. I'm so glad it's over.
Y'know how you hear a choir of angels sing "Halliluhia" on TV when something happens? Well, yesterday, as the emcee was thanking everyone for coming, and signing off, I HEARD THOSE ANGELS!!!   I truly did!!

November will be a busy month. Jaxx won 2 tickets to a play, and I won some tickets to see Walking with Dinosaurs. We are actually going to have somewhat of a social life!!  WooHoo!!  Now if we could just win some tickets to the Bon Jovi concert.......................

Anyway, that's all that's new. I Told you it wasn't too exciting. If you want a fun blog to read, read Miss Dixie's blog. She is truly hilarious. I laugh out loud when I read her's.

Until next time............
T.

]]> Wow - it’s been so long since I have been able to find the time to write. Lot’s has happenned in one sense, and there is nothing new in the other sense. start yawning…………..

School has started for JD. So far, he loves it. Grade 4 has openned alot of doors for him. He was chosen to be a patrol, he was chosen to sell milk to the other students at lunch time, he ran on the school’s cross country running team (and actually did very well in it!!) he has joined the team handball team, plans on joining the basketball team, and hopes to join the cross country skiing team as well. On top of this, we still have him in Tae Kwon do and swimming, and this fall he chose to start Ukrainian Dancing lessons. He is one busy little guy, but he is keeping up with his schoolwork - one of the stipulations we gave him if he was going to do these activities - and he is thriving!! He loves math & science, and seems to have passed every test so far. We are very happy with him, and he is in a good place right now. 
(Side note: to those who don’t know, he came from a horribly abusive background, and we adopted him at the age of 5. With alot of patience, love and therapy, he’s become a great little almost 10 year old boy. )He excited about Halloween, this year choosing to dress as a convict, complete with handcuffs and a ball & chain around his ankles.

Our dogs are doing okay. Beau is almost 16 years old. We went thru a scare with him this spring, we thought we were going to lose him. But, he has bounced back during the summer, although he does have some good days and some bad days. Chase is almost 11. We think he has some back issues, but he is still full of P & V, as grumpy as ever. And our baby, Aero just turned 9. She amazes me. The vet told us a few years ago that she had the start of hip dysplazia. Yet, you’d never know it to look at her. She loves running, swimming and playing frisbee. For an aging dog, she’s more like a puppy!

We finally finished our garage - or as finished as it is going to get this year. It just has a coat of primer on it, we’ll paint it next summer. But it looks great.

Work is still work. We just finished a big gala lunch for our volunteers. What a nightmare. I was so stressed out the past couple of weeks. It went off without a hitch yesterday. We had several compliments. I’m so glad it’s over.
Y’know how you hear a choir of angels sing “Halliluhia” on TV when something happens? Well, yesterday, as the emcee was thanking everyone for coming, and signing off, I HEARD THOSE ANGELS!!!   I truly did!!

November will be a busy month. Jaxx won 2 tickets to a play, and I won some tickets to see Walking with Dinosaurs. We are actually going to have somewhat of a social life!!  WooHoo!!  Now if we could just win some tickets to the Bon Jovi concert…………………..

Anyway, that’s all that’s new. I Told you it wasn’t too exciting. If you want a fun blog to read, read Miss Dixie’s blog. She is truly hilarious. I laugh out loud when I read her’s.

Until next time…………
T.

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/10/31/halloween-update/feed/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/09/06/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/09/06/#comments Thu, 06 Sep 2007 17:13:19 +0000 TM's Journal

Update

Wow - It's been  4 weeks since I wrote! So much has happenned, I don't even know where to start!

We sold our trailer. The same weekend I sold my boat. I am totally bittersweet about that....I really liked my boat. But I believe it was the best decision.

I started holidays on August 13th. That week, I took my son, JD,  camping for a few days. We had a beautiful beach side camping spot. Too bad the weather sucked! It was cold and windy all the days we were there. There were whitecaps, and big waves. JD had fun splashing in them, but he got cold quick, and had to come running out to warm up. I attempted to go in once, made it up to my waist, then decided that since I couldn't feel my legs, maybe it was too cold!!

We came home on August 17th to the news that my brother and his wife had had a baby boy. My new little nephew's name is Dean Richard. I went to the hospital and spent about an hour holding him and chatting with my brother and sister in law. 

August 21, we (JD & I again - Jaxx chose to stay home with the digs) left for Rushing River, Ontario. We met my sister, her husband and 2 kids there, and set up our tents together. We had a blast! The 2 kids kept JD occupied, so I didn't have to! We were 50 feet from a park/play structure/beach, so the kids could go play, and we could keep track of them easily. My brother in law, Rick, took the kids canoeing several times. They loved it, and it gave my sister and I lots of time to go for walks, take a nap, or just sit and chat. It was nice catching up with her!  

The days we were there, were 'comfortable while wearing a sweatshirt' type of days....cloudy, cooler, threatening to rain. The kids splashed around in the water a few times, but my sister and I only ventured in once. The day we left was the nicest sunniest day!! It figures!!

We went into Kenora and explored. It's quite a neat little town. We found this shop called the Blue Heron. If you ever get a chance, check it out. It's a whole house that has been set up as a store....each bedroom, bathroom, and even the kitchen is set up as a store. It has 2 stories, so if you're going to go, make sure you have lots of time on your hands.

We rode on the MS Kenora, which is a cruise ship that goes through Lake of the Woods.  You tend to feel like a pauper looking at the $1,000,000.+ cabins that some people have out there! Totally mind boggling!!

We got back from Rushing River Monday night, about 8:00pm. We unloaded the van, ate a quick supper, had a hot shower, and pretty much went to bed. 
Tuesday, we had to make an emergency run out to Winnipeg Beach to pick up Jaxx's Mom's barbeque. We were due to get our new vehicle sometime that week, and we wanted to get the BBQ before we lost the van (the new one won’t fit a BBQ).

Weds Am at 8:30, we had to have JD into the Children’s Hospital for a follow up breathing test, and Dr exam. We didn’t get home until about 11:00am. 

 

We had severe hail damage during the last storm and Insurance is painting the north & west side of our garage and house, and replacing/repairing our roof on the garage and house. Since there was no point in trying to paint damaged wood, we asked if we could put new plywood on the garage first.  So, Weds,  we ran to Home depot, rented one of their huge trucks, and brought home a ton of plywood and lumber. Then at 3:30, JD had a dental appointment (he has braces now, and they have to tighten them every six weeks) Weds was pretty much a write off.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday late afternoon, and Sunday we rebuilt our garage. (Saturday, we got our new SUV and went to the shrine circus – waste of time and money!)

From about 9:30am until about 8:30pm every day, we worked! We found out our work was more than we had bargained for. There were rotted 2x4’s that we had to rip out completely, and we had to reframe the whole thing. It was not as quick and easy as we had thought it would be! I found out that being a carpenter’s daughter, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re naturally good at carpentry. Ever hear the old saying “Measure twice, but cut once”? well, I’d measure 6 times, and get 4 different answers, then cut, and it would still be too short!!!

Holiday Monday, we were all so sore, and tired, we took the day off from construction. I slept until 2:00 that afternoon! I was exhausted!

Tuesday, was back to work.

There you have it....the Readers Digest version of the last 4 weeks of my life.  Hopefully I can keep up the pace of writing in thios blog, even if no one besides Jaxx is reading it!!!!

 

 

]]>

Update

Wow - It’s been  4 weeks since I wrote! So much has happenned, I don’t even know where to start!

We sold our trailer. The same weekend I sold my boat. I am totally bittersweet about that….I really liked my boat. But I believe it was the best decision.

I started holidays on August 13th. That week, I took my son, JD,  camping for a few days. We had a beautiful beach side camping spot. Too bad the weather sucked! It was cold and windy all the days we were there. There were whitecaps, and big waves. JD had fun splashing in them, but he got cold quick, and had to come running out to warm up. I attempted to go in once, made it up to my waist, then decided that since I couldn’t feel my legs, maybe it was too cold!!

We came home on August 17th to the news that my brother and his wife had had a baby boy. My new little nephew’s name is Dean Richard. I went to the hospital and spent about an hour holding him and chatting with my brother and sister in law. 

August 21, we (JD & I again - Jaxx chose to stay home with the digs) left for Rushing River, Ontario. We met my sister, her husband and 2 kids there, and set up our tents together. We had a blast! The 2 kids kept JD occupied, so I didn’t have to! We were 50 feet from a park/play structure/beach, so the kids could go play, and we could keep track of them easily. My brother in law, Rick, took the kids canoeing several times. They loved it, and it gave my sister and I lots of time to go for walks, take a nap, or just sit and chat. It was nice catching up with her!  

The days we were there, were ‘comfortable while wearing a sweatshirt’ type of days….cloudy, cooler, threatening to rain. The kids splashed around in the water a few times, but my sister and I only ventured in once. The day we left was the nicest sunniest day!! It figures!!

We went into Kenora and explored. It’s quite a neat little town. We found this shop called the Blue Heron. If you ever get a chance, check it out. It’s a whole house that has been set up as a store….each bedroom, bathroom, and even the kitchen is set up as a store. It has 2 stories, so if you’re going to go, make sure you have lots of time on your hands.

We rode on the MS Kenora, which is a cruise ship that goes through Lake of the Woods.  You tend to feel like a pauper looking at the $1,000,000.+ cabins that some people have out there! Totally mind boggling!!

We got back from Rushing River Monday night, about 8:00pm. We unloaded the van, ate a quick supper, had a hot shower, and pretty much went to bed. 
Tuesday, we had to make an emergency run out to Winnipeg Beach to pick up Jaxx’s Mom’s barbeque. We were due to get our new vehicle sometime that week, and we wanted to get the BBQ before we lost the van (the new one won’t fit a BBQ).

Weds Am at 8:30, we had to have JD into the Children’s Hospital for a follow up breathing test, and Dr exam. We didn’t get home until about 11:00am. 

 

We had severe hail damage during the last storm and Insurance is painting the north & west side of our garage and house, and replacing/repairing our roof on the garage and house. Since there was no point in trying to paint damaged wood, we asked if we could put new plywood on the garage first.  So, Weds,  we ran to Home depot, rented one of their huge trucks, and brought home a ton of plywood and lumber. Then at 3:30, JD had a dental appointment (he has braces now, and they have to tighten them every six weeks) Weds was pretty much a write off.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday late afternoon, and Sunday we rebuilt our garage. (Saturday, we got our new SUV and went to the shrine circus – waste of time and money!)

From about 9:30am until about 8:30pm every day, we worked! We found out our work was more than we had bargained for. There were rotted 2×4’s that we had to rip out completely, and we had to reframe the whole thing. It was not as quick and easy as we had thought it would be! I found out that being a carpenter’s daughter, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re naturally good at carpentry. Ever hear the old saying “Measure twice, but cut once”? well, I’d measure 6 times, and get 4 different answers, then cut, and it would still be too short!!!

Holiday Monday, we were all so sore, and tired, we took the day off from construction. I slept until 2:00 that afternoon! I was exhausted!

Tuesday, was back to work.

There you have it….the Readers Digest version of the last 4 weeks of my life.  Hopefully I can keep up the pace of writing in thios blog, even if no one besides Jaxx is reading it!!!!

 

 

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/09/06/feed/ “family” Holidays http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/26/family-holidays/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/26/family-holidays/#comments Thu, 26 Jul 2007 14:02:32 +0000 TM's Journal Well, it looks like our "family" summer holidays are going to be missing a family member. Let me explain:

I have the last 3 weeks of August off as holidays. My partner. Jaxx only has the last 2 weeks. The original plan (back in March when we booked these holidays) was that the first week (Aug 13th - 17th) I'd take JD, my son, camping for a few days. We bought a new tent, we've even checked out a couple campgrounds that are possibilities.  Then, the last 2 weeks, we'd do something as a "family" . Options such as going camping or to the States were discussed. I even said I'd be excited to take a few days and go to Kenora area for some swimming and fishing. We knew then that J's Mom would be out at the lake, but made these plans anyway.

So, last night my sister called and said that she and her family are going camping at Rushing River August 22 - 26th, did we want to come? I was so excited! I'd love to go! I haven't been there since I was about 14 or so. So, I told Jaxx about my conversation with my sister and her fist words are : "I can't go".  Why? Because of our dogs. We have 3 dogs, and one of them is her baby. Lately he has been experiencing some health issues, and she is very worried about him. He cries at night if she's not home. I suggested taking them, but she's not in favor of that idea...."it'll be too hot", "Beau (the oldest) isn't up for travelling", "what avbout bears?", Aero (our youngest) will eat your sister's dog!" (Well, she's right on that one. Aero would eat my sister's little Jack Russell for lunch. She's not very friendly with other dogs.)  We can't leave them behind because there is no one to care for them. I realize that, but funny how we didn't worry about that in March when we started planning our holidays. So for months I've been dreaming about going to Mount Rushmore, or Grand Forks, even Theif River Falls where there is a river tube park.  I'd love to do this, and I think my son would too. Jaxx would not. Anything that involves car travelling, heat or water, she's not a fan of.

So, she suggested that just me and JD go for those few days with my sisiter. At first I said that I'd call my sister back and cancel. Then I thought some more and figured Dammit! It's my holiday, I worked hard all year, waiting for these holidays, I am going. She says she can stay home and get 'some things done' (her term for "Projects" - see other posts) I figure JD and I will go and have some fun. I want to check out the riding Stables at Falcon, and the cruise out of Kenora that takes you around the islands and shows you the sites. I went on this cruise many years ago....the favorite is the Devil's Rock!  It's only a painted stone, but JD'll love it! This will be mine & JD's family vacation. 

It'll only be 4 days....then I guess we'll go home and sit on our asses for the rest of the 2 weeks. I'm sure there will be some pressing project that has to be done.

Who knows, maybe next year we'll be able to have a family vacation with the whole family. 

Who am I kidding?!?!?!?

]]>

Well, it looks like our “family” summer holidays are going to be missing a family member. Let me explain:

I have the last 3 weeks of August off as holidays. My partner. Jaxx only has the last 2 weeks. The original plan (back in March when we booked these holidays) was that the first week (Aug 13th - 17th) I’d take JD, my son, camping for a few days. We bought a new tent, we’ve even checked out a couple campgrounds that are possibilities.  Then, the last 2 weeks, we’d do something as a “family” . Options such as going camping or to the States were discussed. I even said I’d be excited to take a few days and go to Kenora area for some swimming and fishing. We knew then that J’s Mom would be out at the lake, but made these plans anyway.

So, last night my sister called and said that she and her family are going camping at Rushing River August 22 - 26th, did we want to come? I was so excited! I’d love to go! I haven’t been there since I was about 14 or so. So, I told Jaxx about my conversation with my sister and her fist words are : “I can’t go”.  Why? Because of our dogs. We have 3 dogs, and one of them is her baby. Lately he has been experiencing some health issues, and she is very worried about him. He cries at night if she’s not home. I suggested taking them, but she’s not in favor of that idea….”it’ll be too hot”, “Beau (the oldest) isn’t up for travelling”, “what avbout bears?”, Aero (our youngest) will eat your sister’s dog!” (Well, she’s right on that one. Aero would eat my sister’s little Jack Russell for lunch. She’s not very friendly with other dogs.)  We can’t leave them behind because there is no one to care for them. I realize that, but funny how we didn’t worry about that in March when we started planning our holidays. So for months I’ve been dreaming about going to Mount Rushmore, or Grand Forks, even Theif River Falls where there is a river tube park.  I’d love to do this, and I think my son would too. Jaxx would not. Anything that involves car travelling, heat or water, she’s not a fan of.

So, she suggested that just me and JD go for those few days with my sisiter. At first I said that I’d call my sister back and cancel. Then I thought some more and figured Dammit! It’s my holiday, I worked hard all year, waiting for these holidays, I am going. She says she can stay home and get ’some things done’ (her term for ”Projects” - see other posts) I figure JD and I will go and have some fun. I want to check out the riding Stables at Falcon, and the cruise out of Kenora that takes you around the islands and shows you the sites. I went on this cruise many years ago….the favorite is the Devil’s Rock!  It’s only a painted stone, but JD’ll love it! This will be mine & JD’s family vacation. 

It’ll only be 4 days….then I guess we’ll go home and sit on our asses for the rest of the 2 weeks. I’m sure there will be some pressing project that has to be done.

Who knows, maybe next year we’ll be able to have a family vacation with the whole family. 

Who am I kidding?!?!?!?

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/26/family-holidays/feed/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/24/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/24/#comments Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:40:39 +0000 TM's Journal Okay, so I finally remembered this blog. It's not habit yet, so I actually forgot about it for a few days. To catch you up - not that you asked to be caught up - it's now Tuesday, July 24th.

We spent Saturday at the beach! We drove to a place we hadn't been before - St Ambroise Beach. I clocked it and from my doorstep to the beach is 101 kms. Not to bad of a drive. Nice campground. I'd definitely go back. My partner, Jaxx, did come, although I think it was just because she felt obligated, not because she really wanted to. She spent most of the time OUT of the water, while JD and I spent most of our time in the water. I loved it! It reminded me of my childhood, playing and splashing, and floating on an air mattress. It was so peaceful. I could have stayed until dark, but I know she wasn't having fun. To be fair, the flies were terrible and were biting pretty bad. Since she was on shore most of the time, they were making her life miserable. Had she come into the water, she would have been fine!

Sunday was very hot! Too hot to do much. Yet, Jaxx found a "project" to do! lol  are you surprised? She and her Mom restrung our clothesline umbrella. Since I was a tad sunburned, I chose to stay away from the sun. Just the couple times I actually did go outside, the sun burned my sunburn! Finally, about 2:00pm, the project was finished, and the 2 of them finally figured out that it was just to darn hot to be outside!

Yesterday, was nothing important. Same old same old. Slept, worked, ate, slept.

Today, I went to the dr for my 3 month checkup for my diabetes.  Things are going good. My numbers are pretty good. The meds - and my new found information - have kept my sugar levels under control. He has now given me yet ANOTHER  drug to start taking. This means 11 pills a day! I'm really starting to wonder if this Dr. is a pill pusher.  I want to trust him, as I was brought up with the idea that you trust your Dr and do as he says. Its just from some of my research, and thru word of mouth, I've heard and read things that sometimes make me doubt him. It's easy, you're thinking....go get a second opinion. Not so easy, finding a Dr these days is not so easy in my city. There are so few Dr's taking new patients, that the ones who are, can pick and chose who they want to take on as a patient. I know  3 people right now looking for a dr, and it hasn't been easy for any of them.

Anyway, that's my last few days. I'll post again when I have some exciting news! No wait, that might not be for weeks! I'll post sooner than that!

I'm going to bookmark this site so I can find it again!

Later,

T.

]]>

Okay, so I finally remembered this blog. It’s not habit yet, so I actually forgot about it for a few days. To catch you up - not that you asked to be caught up - it’s now Tuesday, July 24th.

We spent Saturday at the beach! We drove to a place we hadn’t been before - St Ambroise Beach. I clocked it and from my doorstep to the beach is 101 kms. Not to bad of a drive. Nice campground. I’d definitely go back. My partner, Jaxx, did come, although I think it was just because she felt obligated, not because she really wanted to. She spent most of the time OUT of the water, while JD and I spent most of our time in the water. I loved it! It reminded me of my childhood, playing and splashing, and floating on an air mattress. It was so peaceful. I could have stayed until dark, but I know she wasn’t having fun. To be fair, the flies were terrible and were biting pretty bad. Since she was on shore most of the time, they were making her life miserable. Had she come into the water, she would have been fine!

Sunday was very hot! Too hot to do much. Yet, Jaxx found a “project” to do! lol  are you surprised? She and her Mom restrung our clothesline umbrella. Since I was a tad sunburned, I chose to stay away from the sun. Just the couple times I actually did go outside, the sun burned my sunburn! Finally, about 2:00pm, the project was finished, and the 2 of them finally figured out that it was just to darn hot to be outside!

Yesterday, was nothing important. Same old same old. Slept, worked, ate, slept.

Today, I went to the dr for my 3 month checkup for my diabetes.  Things are going good. My numbers are pretty good. The meds - and my new found information - have kept my sugar levels under control. He has now given me yet ANOTHER  drug to start taking. This means 11 pills a day! I’m really starting to wonder if this Dr. is a pill pusher.  I want to trust him, as I was brought up with the idea that you trust your Dr and do as he says. Its just from some of my research, and thru word of mouth, I’ve heard and read things that sometimes make me doubt him. It’s easy, you’re thinking….go get a second opinion. Not so easy, finding a Dr these days is not so easy in my city. There are so few Dr’s taking new patients, that the ones who are, can pick and chose who they want to take on as a patient. I know  3 people right now looking for a dr, and it hasn’t been easy for any of them.

Anyway, that’s my last few days. I’ll post again when I have some exciting news! No wait, that might not be for weeks! I’ll post sooner than that!

I’m going to bookmark this site so I can find it again!

Later,

T.

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/24/feed/ $2500 smile http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/18/2500-smile/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/18/2500-smile/#comments Wed, 18 Jul 2007 10:14:28 +0000 TM's Journal Today my son, JD gets braces. He's excited by the thought. I'm so glad that I'm not the one who has to take him for this appointment. I have this terrible feeling that he's going to be crying in pain. I am not one to be strong for that....I'm terrified of dentists myself. In fact, I was told a month or so ago that I have to have my wisdom teeth out. The dentist gave me his card, and told me to "think about it" and then give him a call to book the appointment. As of today, I'm still "thinking about it". I'm too scared to phone and make the appointment. I've nevr even had a filling done, so the thought of someone pulling perfectly fine teeth out seems barbaric to me. I've heard so many horror stories about this sort of stuff.

Anyway, back to my son's issues. We were told that he'd possibly have some extractions. so we're not sure if today is the extractions in preparation for the braces, or if he'll be getting the actual braces today. Time will tell. Either way, I know that this is great for him in the long run. He'll be done with the braces before he hits middle school. So when he starts to worry about his appearence, and is going thru the typical awkward teenage stuff (puberty, voice cracking, acne etc) at least he'll have a killer smile! A $2500.00 smile!!

And I will probably still have my wisdom teeth.

]]>

Today my son, JD gets braces. He’s excited by the thought. I’m so glad that I’m not the one who has to take him for this appointment. I have this terrible feeling that he’s going to be crying in pain. I am not one to be strong for that….I’m terrified of dentists myself. In fact, I was told a month or so ago that I have to have my wisdom teeth out. The dentist gave me his card, and told me to “think about it” and then give him a call to book the appointment. As of today, I’m still “thinking about it”. I’m too scared to phone and make the appointment. I’ve nevr even had a filling done, so the thought of someone pulling perfectly fine teeth out seems barbaric to me. I’ve heard so many horror stories about this sort of stuff.

Anyway, back to my son’s issues. We were told that he’d possibly have some extractions. so we’re not sure if today is the extractions in preparation for the braces, or if he’ll be getting the actual braces today. Time will tell. Either way, I know that this is great for him in the long run. He’ll be done with the braces before he hits middle school. So when he starts to worry about his appearence, and is going thru the typical awkward teenage stuff (puberty, voice cracking, acne etc) at least he’ll have a killer smile! A $2500.00 smile!!

And I will probably still have my wisdom teeth.

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/18/2500-smile/feed/ My first time….. http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/17/my-first-time/ http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/17/my-first-time/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2007 16:40:12 +0000 TM's Journal Okay, I'm new at this. I've read literally hundreds of blogs, but I've never written one. My partner has one, and she says it's very theraputic to write. I mentioned once that I should do it........it apparently relieves stress. And now, lo & behold, she set me up with this one! So, now I have my very own blog.... and I don't know what to write about. How about I just ramble on about whatever pops into my head.

Most of the blogs I read are very mundane. Just regular events that happen to those people. Not too much happens to me that anyone would be interested in. My mundane events would put most people to sleep. I sleep, I get up, I go to work, I go home, eat supper and sleep again. During fall, winter & spring, we spend our evenings after work running our 9 year old around - Tae Kwon Do lessons, swimming lessons, baseball practices, games and weekend tournements. Sometimes I miss having time for ourselves. We call them "BJ" days - Before Jonathan. Life with a kid is totally different than life without one. Besides a kid, we also have 3 dogs. Between the boy and the dogs, we have no life anymore.

BJ & dogs, the 2 of us would pack up the car, and go drive. We'd pick a highway and go. We'd stop anywhere that interested us, and explore, take pictures or go fishing. We'd have a picnic lunch somewhere, and maybe make it back home after dark. It was fun, and it was the 2 of us. Now, even to go on a short excursion takes planning....arrange with Jaxx's mom to watch the dogs, pack up the kid, the bug spray, the mosquito spray, toys & books to occupy him, rain gear, sun umbrellas, lawn chairs,blankets, first aid kit with bandages....you name it, we bring it! We are the perfect Boy scouts - we're prepared for anything - - And that's just to go to WalMarts to pick a perscription up!!!

I guess I just miss the fun in life. Now it's all responsibilities, bills, parental issues, financial woes...nothing fun. I realize this is the price we pay for growing up, but somehow I never knew that growing up meant that you can't have fun anymore.

This spring, we made the decision to sell the camper and the boat.  I made a decsion that still I wanted to go camping this summer with JD even if it meant tenting. I grew up camping, and have many great memories of time spent at the beach, and I want to make some great memories for my son. My partner has never camped out. This poses a problem. But, I bought a new tent (one big enough to accomadate the family and the dogs) and I want to go to Watchorn Bay for a few days. But, this summer is going by so quickly, it's already the middle of July. I wanted to do a trial run camping one weekend, but it seems it's not meant to be. You see, we are still trying to sell our camper and our boat. Weekends are spent running out to my parents to show someone the trailer, or staying home doing household "projects". There never seems to be an end to them, and personally, I think my partner LOOKS for some that have to be done because she doesn't want to go camping. Whenever I bring it up, it gets knocked down - Primarily because of Beau, our oldest dog. He's 15 +1/2 years old. Lately he has a slight limp. we don't know if he's hurt himself somehow, or if his arthritis is very bad. Either way, we can't take him camping, and we can't leave him at home because he cries all night if my partner isn't home.  So, another weekend doing another "project". 

I want to spend a weekend doing what others do, HAVING FUN..... Going to the beach, going to waterparks, having family get togethers, travelling & sightseeing.

I just feel like all the fun has been sucked out of my life. Being an adult sucks!

 I guess I'd better stop writing. I'm depressing myself. Besides, it's almost 4:00pm. Just about time to go home and do nothing.

More tomorrow if I can find this place again.

T.Wink

  

]]>

Okay, I’m new at this. I’ve read literally hundreds of blogs, but I’ve never written one. My partner has one, and she says it’s very theraputic to write. I mentioned once that I should do it……..it apparently relieves stress. And now, lo & behold, she set me up with this one! So, now I have my very own blog…. and I don’t know what to write about. How about I just ramble on about whatever pops into my head.

Most of the blogs I read are very mundane. Just regular events that happen to those people. Not too much happens to me that anyone would be interested in. My mundane events would put most people to sleep. I sleep, I get up, I go to work, I go home, eat supper and sleep again. During fall, winter & spring, we spend our evenings after work running our 9 year old around - Tae Kwon Do lessons, swimming lessons, baseball practices, games and weekend tournements. Sometimes I miss having time for ourselves. We call them “BJ” days - Before Jonathan. Life with a kid is totally different than life without one. Besides a kid, we also have 3 dogs. Between the boy and the dogs, we have no life anymore.

BJ & dogs, the 2 of us would pack up the car, and go drive. We’d pick a highway and go. We’d stop anywhere that interested us, and explore, take pictures or go fishing. We’d have a picnic lunch somewhere, and maybe make it back home after dark. It was fun, and it was the 2 of us. Now, even to go on a short excursion takes planning….arrange with Jaxx’s mom to watch the dogs, pack up the kid, the bug spray, the mosquito spray, toys & books to occupy him, rain gear, sun umbrellas, lawn chairs,blankets, first aid kit with bandages….you name it, we bring it! We are the perfect Boy scouts - we’re prepared for anything - - And that’s just to go to WalMarts to pick a perscription up!!!

I guess I just miss the fun in life. Now it’s all responsibilities, bills, parental issues, financial woes…nothing fun. I realize this is the price we pay for growing up, but somehow I never knew that growing up meant that you can’t have fun anymore.

This spring, we made the decision to sell the camper and the boat.  I made a decsion that still I wanted to go camping this summer with JD even if it meant tenting. I grew up camping, and have many great memories of time spent at the beach, and I want to make some great memories for my son. My partner has never camped out. This poses a problem. But, I bought a new tent (one big enough to accomadate the family and the dogs) and I want to go to Watchorn Bay for a few days. But, this summer is going by so quickly, it’s already the middle of July. I wanted to do a trial run camping one weekend, but it seems it’s not meant to be. You see, we are still trying to sell our camper and our boat. Weekends are spent running out to my parents to show someone the trailer, or staying home doing household “projects”. There never seems to be an end to them, and personally, I think my partner LOOKS for some that have to be done because she doesn’t want to go camping. Whenever I bring it up, it gets knocked down - Primarily because of Beau, our oldest dog. He’s 15 +1/2 years old. Lately he has a slight limp. we don’t know if he’s hurt himself somehow, or if his arthritis is very bad. Either way, we can’t take him camping, and we can’t leave him at home because he cries all night if my partner isn’t home.  So, another weekend doing another “project”. 

I want to spend a weekend doing what others do, HAVING FUN….. Going to the beach, going to waterparks, having family get togethers, travelling & sightseeing.

I just feel like all the fun has been sucked out of my life. Being an adult sucks!

 I guess I’d better stop writing. I’m depressing myself. Besides, it’s almost 4:00pm. Just about time to go home and do nothing.

More tomorrow if I can find this place again.

T.Wink

  

]]> http://tmsjournal.blog.com/2007/07/17/my-first-time/feed/